‘I never thought I would fall in love again’: Claxton woman shares story of finding love after loss
By Kirsten Maselka
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CLAXTON, Ga. (WJCL) — For many people, Valentine’s Day is a celebration of romance. For those who have lost a spouse, it can be a difficult day to navigate.
JoAnn Strickland, of Claxton, Ga., knows that feeling.
“We were together 27 years, then he got sick,” Strickland said.
Her husband died of cancer in 2016. In the years that followed, Strickland said she leaned on family and friends and had no interest in another relationship.
“My friends gave me a hard time, said, ‘You’ve got to get out and date somebody,’” she said. “I never thought I would fall in love again… I never thought I would even date.”
Hunter Bickers, a therapist at Waters Edge Counseling, said those emotions are common. He said there is no set timeline for when someone should start dating after losing a partner.
“That’s the big question, and it’s a struggle a lot of people experience,” Bickers said. “But if the answer is, ‘I am open and I’d like to explore and expand again while still commemorating and cherishing what I had,’ then maybe it is the right time.”
For Strickland, that readiness came slowly. Then she met Steve Stiegman.
“We clicked,” Stiegman said. “We don’t go anywhere where we don’t have a good time.”
Strickland said starting over brought complicated emotions, including learning not to measure a new relationship against the one she lost.
“You can’t compare it to your spouse that you lost, so I had to work through that,” she said.
Bickers said many widows and widowers worry that loving again means betrayal.
“We don’t have to prove our loyalty by staying alone forever,” Bickers said. “Moving forward does not necessarily mean completely moving on. That person is still in your life — it just looks a little bit differently.”
Strickland said her late husband remains part of her life — while making room for something new.
“I still visit the cemetery. I bring flowers and talk to him,” she said. “Steve can be part of that.”
Last Christmas, Stiegman proposed.
“He had on the shirt that said, ‘Will you marry me?’” Strickland laughed.
This Valentine’s weekend, the couple plans to spend the day at their favorite place and enjoy quality time.
“We’re going to hit the beach,” Stiegman said.
Strickland said finding love again changed her perspective.
“I really didn’t think I needed anybody until I met Steve,” she said. “It makes you want to love stronger if you find somebody that you can be with.”
Mental health professionals say no one has to navigate grief alone, and support from friends, family or a counselor can be an important part of healing.
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