By Ashley Paul
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ABERDEEN, Maryland (WJZ) — A Maryland man has a fresh new look on life and a holiday to be extra grateful for, thanks to an assist from a kidney donor.
Instead of celebrating the holidays with his wife and children last year, Jeff Deckman was in the hospital, learning that his autoimmune kidney disease, IGA, had progressed, and he was in imminent need of a transplant.
He found a donor after Robin Phelan responded to his wife’s social media plea.
“When you kind of look at that and you think, ‘What could be the immediate future? Could this be the last time that I go to the beach with my children? Is this the last birthday with them?” said Deckman, from Aberdeen, Maryland.
With a transplant list five to seven years long, time wasn’t on his side.
“We spoke with someone who said, ‘Don’t be afraid to ask. Put it out there. People do billboards and t-shirts and social media,'” said Deckman’s wife, Jen. “That kind of ignited it in me because I thought, ‘What’s the alternative?’ I ask for help, which a lot of people don’t like to do, or maybe my husband isn’t here.”
The successful search for a donor
On February 24, 2024, Jen posted a flyer to Facebook, sharing Deckman’s story anywhere she could, including the “This Is Havre De Grace” page.
That’s where Robin Phelan saw it and took action, and found out she was a match for a kidney transplant.
“I opened it, I read it, and I just immediately felt drawn to this family,” Phelan said. “Just Jen’s words of how much she loved her husband, how much he is a family man, I just empathized with that.”
Phelan thought about it for a while, carefully weighing the risks. And, by the time she brought the idea to her husband Kevin, her decision was already made.
“Her comment to me was that this guy needs to see his kids graduate and see all the events in their lives,” Kevin said. “And just that comment sold me on it, and I said, if this is what you want to do, I’m in it all the way.”
They were cleared to proceed after several months of tests, questionnaires, scans, and meetings, along with a few brief messages between Robin and Jen.
“I got a call on a Tuesday in August saying, ‘You have been approved,'” Robin said. “I messaged Jen, and I said, ‘Let’s do this,’ and she said, ‘Please tell me what I think you’re telling me,’ and I said, ‘Yes, we’ve got a date, November 11th.”
Families reunite post-surgery
Seven weeks after the surgery, WJZ was in the Phelans’ living room with the Deckmans, reminiscing about the first time the two families met in person in September 2024 after learning the surgery was approved.
“I was excited. We were meeting for the first time, but at that point we were joined together, and it’s been that way ever since,” Kevin said.
The prognosis is positive for Jeff, for Robin, and for the bond they share.
“I’m physically attached to somebody brand new. I think that bond itself is forever now. It’s hard to describe that feeling that there really is a physical bond to somebody else,” said Jeff.
A new kidney is giving Deckman a future filled with beach days and birthdays he once feared might run out.
And along the way, he was given a new family.
“It feels so crazy,” Phelan said. “It’s a blessing to me. I feel like I got more than I gave quite honestly in all this.”
Both families encourage anyone out there who might be thinking about becoming a living donor, to take the first steps and learn more about it.
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