By Montse Ricossa
Click here for updates on this story
SHEBOYGAN, Wisconsin (WDJT) — One Sheboygan family has lived through more grief than many of us will likely experience in our lifetime, but the Salcherts say they wouldn’t change a thing. Since 2012, Cori and Mark Salchert have added to their family of eight biological children by adding nine foster children, five of whom they’ve adopted. Cori says it’s a way to let children live before they die.
The newest addition to the family is 6-and-a-half-year-old Kassidy, who wasn’t expected to live past 2 years old after being born with an umbilical cord knotted around her neck. “She likes the party, she likes a little bit of chaos,” said Johanna, the fourth oldest of the Salcherts’ biological children, who helps take care of the children with terminal illnesses.
Across the house, in a bedroom specially built for his needs, is 11-and-a-half-year-old Charles. “He’s very sturdy, very strong, resilient,” shared Mark. He said Charles was expected to live for just two years after an umbilical cord and drugs affected him, causing severe brain damage.
“Everyone wants a healthy baby that they can see grow and flourish. I wanted the ones that no one else was lining up for,” shared Cori. She said she was a registered nurse working in hospice, later going into obstetrics as a bereavement specialist. “I mentioned that I wanted – if there was a baby that parents just could not stay because of this terminal prognosis, that we wanted them, that we weren’t backing off because there wasn’t going to be a curative outcome. And [Mark] said, ‘are you kidding? Like, bring that home and do this? 24/7? No, no, I don’t want to do that.'” Mark admitted, “this is the last place on earth I thought it’d be.”
The couple first adopted Emmalynn Rae in 2012, born without the left or right hemisphere of her brain. She only lived for 50 days. “You would think that, you know, a child is going to pass away, that this would just be a really somber, sad thing. But for us, it was like she already had the terminal prognosis, so it was coming. So, what can we do in all the days before that happens, so that she has a life before she dies? And that was our focus,” said Cori.
After fostering for a few years, they met 13-year-old Samuel Laevell in January of 2017. Better known as T-Bear, he had “vanishing white matter disease” and was with the Salcherts about 20 months before he was adopted by the family. It was a moment he was surrounded by his friends: the firefighters who helped get him to the hospital so often. “After they had declared him as their honorary firefighter brother in blue, they were clapping, and he smiled, you know, his eyes were wide open, and he smiled, and they’re like, oh my goodness!” shared Cori. She explained that he had “profound cerebral silence… so there was no indication that anything was going on in there.” However, she says he smiled when he was welcomed to the brotherhood of firefighters. He died two-and-a-half weeks later. Cori said at his service, the Sheboygan Fire Department gave him a shirt and beanie to be buried in. “So, he had just really meaningful clothing on that day, and that just made a world of difference.”
Then, there was baby Nehemiah who Mark said, “taught us how to love, really love.”
“And when Nehemiah died, it just tore my heart out like nothing I’ve ever experienced in life, because he was so energetic. His baseline was pain, but that little boy would waddle around with all his tubes and stuff, and he would just laugh.”
Pictures of Nehemiah remain throughout the home as a memory of the happiness he brought the family. “He was just always full of joy and it kind of just overflowed into our lives, and we felt the smile of God on our lives by doing it, and grief over the loss. Grief is the price of love,” said Mark. Cori described Nehemiah’s death as “devastating” because “he just bounced so many times and came back, that it was really kind of a shock when it’s like, there was no illness.” She said it was “obvious” that Emalynn and T-Bear were going to pass soon. “So, I just already had a mindset that that was going to be the way it was. It’s not so the shock factor wasn’t there when they died, the grief over not having them with us anymore was definitely there, but we had kind of waded into it.”
The shock of Nehemiah’s death remains years later and is part of the journey Cori and Mark find themselves in: “You can want to do this, and that’s wonderful. But you walk through this a few times – it, I mean, it takes a toll. It’s not like we breeze through it, we’re not superhuman. We’re very human and have all of the emotions that anybody else does and the grief was acute,” said Cori. Cori said she was Inspired in part by the love she had for her younger sister, Amie, with “profound handicaps,” who lived in an institution. “We didn’t get to see her all that often, and there was a grief in my heart over the fact that her disabilities had taken her out of the family context, and sort of a childhood desire that if I ever got to the point as an adult and had the opportunity, I’d like to be able to have that be different.”
She’s making that difference in countless lives now, never letting these kids leave the world without love:
“I get people who tell me, ‘Oh, I could never do that. It would break my heart.’ Well, you know, a broken heart is not the worst-case scenario. Could you imagine this little boy that’s in that picture there never having a mom that was so attentive and loving towards him that would have her heart broken when he wasn’t here? You know, that’s, that’s the terrible part, and that was not his story.”
Though Kassidy and Charles are non-verbal, their emotions radiate beyond words, said Mark. “We’re always in a miracle zone here and it’s fun, actually, in so many ways. Even though it is tiring, but it’s so worth it. I know Charles loves me and he’s worth it. He’s priceless.”
70-year-old Mark and 60-year-old Cori’s retirement is taking care of those who don’t have anyone else to turn to. “They have stretched us and grown us, and our perseverance and resilience has really developed quite a bit with the kiddos that we have,” said Mark.
Cori hopes to inspire others to follow their same path, saying, “There’s probably other people like me that, despite the fact that it’s going to be a short time, are willing to wade in and make whatever difference it is that they can.”
“I know as long as I have breath, I want to do this. As long as God gives me breath, I want to do this,” shared Mark. Cori added, “I would say there isn’t a time that I say, ‘Oh, I wish we hadn’t gotten into this.’ It’s just been one of the most fulfilling ways to live. To have made all of the difference in these kids’ lives before they die.”
If you think fostering or adopting might be for you, call 1-414-KID-HERO to reach the recruitment line for Children’s Hospital Social Services.
Please note: This story was provided to CNN Wire by an affiliate and does not contain original CNN reporting. This content carries a strict local market embargo. If you share the same market as the contributor of this article, you may not use it on any platform.
